Thread: Best joke ever (Cheerios)
This is easily the best joke in history, yet it's quite long, so come back when you have time to read every bit of it.
There is a Cheerios box, and inside of this Cheerios box there is three levels of the Cheerio Society. The top of the box if filled with the rich and ritzy Cheerios who have the most scrumptious meals and the most fantastic houses. The middle of the box if filled with the average-class Cheerios with an average life, average house, average family. The bottom of the box is filled with the crumby Cheerios, with gang violence and crime in the neighborhoods.
So, one day, a sad, poor Cheerio decided he wanted to end his life of being at the bottom of the box. His life was rediculous and he wanted to end it. He marched right up to the Average level of the box and went inside of an average resturant. The average waiter said “Hey! You’re a poor Cheerio! You’re not allowed in here!" And with that, he kicked him out.
Discouraged, he returned home to the lower levels. That night, he snuck up and found an average, abandoned home, and moved into it. The next day, he lived his average life. His job was average, his house and family were average, everything was average. After about a week or so, he started hearing the joyous sounds of the rich Cheerios eating their rich meals and bathing in their rich pools. He decided he needed to end this average life, and become rich.
He walked up to the Rich levels, and said down in a rich, 5 star resturant. The rich waiter said “Sir, you cannot dine here! Average Cheerios are not allowed!" And with that, he kicked him out. Discouraged, he returned home to his average house. That night, he snuck into the upper levels and found a rich house of which the owner had recently passed away. After bringing his stuff up, he moved in.
The rich life was fantastic. His job paid well, he had big screen TVs, a pool, and a huge house. The morning after he moved in, he went to breakfast. The rich waiter said “Good morning, sir. What would you like to eat?" “Well, what do you have?" replied our Cheerio. “On our menu, we have an omlette, made with vegetables straight from our garden, and the egg of finest hen! Would you enjoy that?" asked the waiter. “No, thank you. What else is there?" “Well, we have the freshest fruit straight off of the vine, picked this morning, actually. Would you enjoy that?" “No, thank you, what else is there?" “We also have the best blueberry pancakes you have ever eaten. Homemade, hot off the griddle. Would you enjoy that?" “Yes, please, I’ll have the pancakes," replied the hungry Cheerio. “Of course, sir. Just step into the Pancake line and enjoy your breakfast!" And with that, the waiter took off, and the Cheerio went into line to order his delicious pancakes.
At dinnertime, the Cheerio came back. The waiter, once again, came up and asked him what he would like to eat for dinner. “What is there to eat?" Asked the Cheerio. “Well, we have the finest steak. Crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside. It’s delicious. Would you like that?" “No thank you, what else is there?" “Well, we have the best pizza you have ever eaten, with ingredients imported straight from Italy. Would you like that?" “Yes! I would love to have some pizza," replied the hungry Cheerio. “Of course, sir. Just step into the Pizza line and enjoy your dinner!" And with that, the waiter took off, and the Cheerio went in line to order his amazing pizza.
As he was eating, the waiter came over again. “Is there anything you would like to drink, sir?" asked the waiter. “Yes, what do you have?" “Well, we have a pitcher of the purest, clearest mineral water. Would you like that?" “No, thank you. What else is there?" “Well, we have a tasty mix of Cola and Pepsi. It’s quite delicious. Would you like that?" “No, thank you. What else is there?" “Well, we have the sweetest Fruit Punch you have ever had. It’s so tangy, and it’s amazing. Would you like that?" “Yes, please, I’ll have the Fruit Punch. Where might the line be?" “Well, sir, there is no punch-line."
There is a Cheerios box, and inside of this Cheerios box there is three levels of the Cheerio Society. The top of the box if filled with the rich and ritzy Cheerios who have the most scrumptious meals and the most fantastic houses. The middle of the box if filled with the average-class Cheerios with an average life, average house, average family. The bottom of the box is filled with the crumby Cheerios, with gang violence and crime in the neighborhoods.
So, one day, a sad, poor Cheerio decided he wanted to end his life of being at the bottom of the box. His life was rediculous and he wanted to end it. He marched right up to the Average level of the box and went inside of an average resturant. The average waiter said “Hey! You’re a poor Cheerio! You’re not allowed in here!" And with that, he kicked him out.
Discouraged, he returned home to the lower levels. That night, he snuck up and found an average, abandoned home, and moved into it. The next day, he lived his average life. His job was average, his house and family were average, everything was average. After about a week or so, he started hearing the joyous sounds of the rich Cheerios eating their rich meals and bathing in their rich pools. He decided he needed to end this average life, and become rich.
He walked up to the Rich levels, and said down in a rich, 5 star resturant. The rich waiter said “Sir, you cannot dine here! Average Cheerios are not allowed!" And with that, he kicked him out. Discouraged, he returned home to his average house. That night, he snuck into the upper levels and found a rich house of which the owner had recently passed away. After bringing his stuff up, he moved in.
The rich life was fantastic. His job paid well, he had big screen TVs, a pool, and a huge house. The morning after he moved in, he went to breakfast. The rich waiter said “Good morning, sir. What would you like to eat?" “Well, what do you have?" replied our Cheerio. “On our menu, we have an omlette, made with vegetables straight from our garden, and the egg of finest hen! Would you enjoy that?" asked the waiter. “No, thank you. What else is there?" “Well, we have the freshest fruit straight off of the vine, picked this morning, actually. Would you enjoy that?" “No, thank you, what else is there?" “We also have the best blueberry pancakes you have ever eaten. Homemade, hot off the griddle. Would you enjoy that?" “Yes, please, I’ll have the pancakes," replied the hungry Cheerio. “Of course, sir. Just step into the Pancake line and enjoy your breakfast!" And with that, the waiter took off, and the Cheerio went into line to order his delicious pancakes.
At dinnertime, the Cheerio came back. The waiter, once again, came up and asked him what he would like to eat for dinner. “What is there to eat?" Asked the Cheerio. “Well, we have the finest steak. Crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside. It’s delicious. Would you like that?" “No thank you, what else is there?" “Well, we have the best pizza you have ever eaten, with ingredients imported straight from Italy. Would you like that?" “Yes! I would love to have some pizza," replied the hungry Cheerio. “Of course, sir. Just step into the Pizza line and enjoy your dinner!" And with that, the waiter took off, and the Cheerio went in line to order his amazing pizza.
As he was eating, the waiter came over again. “Is there anything you would like to drink, sir?" asked the waiter. “Yes, what do you have?" “Well, we have a pitcher of the purest, clearest mineral water. Would you like that?" “No, thank you. What else is there?" “Well, we have a tasty mix of Cola and Pepsi. It’s quite delicious. Would you like that?" “No, thank you. What else is there?" “Well, we have the sweetest Fruit Punch you have ever had. It’s so tangy, and it’s amazing. Would you like that?" “Yes, please, I’ll have the Fruit Punch. Where might the line be?" “Well, sir, there is no punch-line."
I\'ve heard it as this:
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.
Your mom just called. Check your phone.
You can also say "he heads over to the punch table" you follow it up with "and he gets some punch." Then you sit in silence and wait for your audience to say "And..." and you say "oh that\'s it. There was no punch line."
Your mom just called. Check your phone.
